Don’t let a good crisis go to waste!

hangingonWhen adversity strikes and when it lingers on in our lives, it is easy to think that all of it is just a bad experience and that nothing good can possibly come of it. In fairness, there are situations that look just like that: hopelessly bad. Take for example an important relationship that won’t heal on its own, an otherwise bright child who doesn’t seem to follow the right path, a career that is going nowhere, an income that is simply not enough, or a personal problem that does not seem to get any better. All these are crises, mostly crises of growth whose resolution requires deep changes to be identified and implemented.

Nothing can focus attention more than a crisis staring at us in the face, except that… sometimes we are very good at denying, avoiding, numbing and otherwise doing our best to ignore the problem.  We muddle through, hoping and praying for a magic fix.

Not letting one of these crises fester, linger, and possibly get worse requires courage and faith that a better outcome is possible, even if such positive outcome cannot be discerned right now. Not letting a painful crisis go unattended means having the courage and the resolve to take full advantage of the opportunity (yes, opportunity) that the crisis is presenting to us.

How to turn a crisis into a win

We can do turn a hopeless crisis into a growth opportunity (and thus a win) thanks to several tools that are available to us:

  1. The pain and hurt of the crisis can provide a unique motivation toward change, the type of motivation that is just not there when things are going relatively well. Welcoming the hurt as a means to an end is the first tool.
  2. Discerning the emotional and the rational components of the crisis is the second tool. All crises have a rational side (the facts, the figures, the objective reality of what is happening or not happening) and an emotional side (the mixed feelings, the contradictory emotions, the confusing desires, the fears and hopes we might have). Knowing what is rational and what is irrational is a key to good decision-making.
  3. Identifying what IS must come before deciding what SHOULD BE. A good handle of the situation is the third tool. It is only by knowing what is actually happening, and verifying the accuracy of our information, that we can hope to ascertain what we would like to change. This is a step that cannot be bypassed.
  4. A fourth tool is managing our emotions in situations where the crisis is at its peak: during an argument, when trying to communicate our point of view or understand another’s, when resisting the temptation to shoot from the hip or doing more of what doesn’t work, by controlling anger and despair. Sometime the best course of action is doing less, not more, while working on an effective and perhaps difficult solution.
  5. Switching off the autopilot and taking the controls in our hands is the fifth tool. So many of the daily decisions we make are automatic, out of immediate consciousness. This is not necessarily bad, however when applied to a crisis situation the autopilot can take us but to one pre-programmed destination, i.e. to the pain, the emotion, the helplessness that we’ve felt all along.
  6. Working up options for change is the sixth tool. Here we might want to take advantage of any help that may be available to us: family resources, internet information, the advice of trusted and knowledgeable people, our own experience, the power of prayer. All these can help us work up a set of options from which to choose the best possible course of action.

The moment of truth

When the best option finally materializes in front of us, we may not recognize it right away but it is definitely there. Being open to the possibilities, being flexible in considering all alternatives, being aware of our strengths and weaknesses are key factors that permit us to discern the truth. Additionally, we must have a clearer idea of what is RIGHT in the situation, and not just consider what is easiest, least painful, cheapest, or feels good.

This is when a crisis becomes a win, when it is utilized for growth to its fullest potential: when we finally arrive at the solution, the truth, the change that makes all the difference. There is no greater feeling than to feel the personal power that comes from having considered all options and having made the right decision.

Heed the Message, Don’t Shoot the Messenger

VirginIslandsNP_EN-US154535774The messages provided by the stress reaction that something is wrong, or dangerous, or simply requires our attention are often very powerful, even debilitating. Just think of the feeling we get in our gut (seat of the enteric nervous system) when something is not quite right. Even though we might not identify the threat right away, the stress signal activates our body’s defense almost instantaneously and we become fully alert. In the absence of a clearly identifiable threat, or upon identification of a threat that we cannot immediately escape, we may choose to treat stress itself as if it were the enemy. The common phrase, “I have too much stress” should in fact be restated as, “I have people, situations or circumstances that are an emotional, physical or mental threat to my well-being.”

Turning off the stress alert system is possible, especially with the use of powerful drugs or alcohol, at least for time. In fact, this amounts to unscrewing the warning lights on a dashboard so as not to be bothered by what they signal. The stress messenger conveys valuable information in the form of neural signals (mediated by the limbic system), sensations, and subjective feelings. The messenger does its job, the way it should, to ensure our survival. Nevertheless, the repeated stress signals may rise to a high and uncomfortable level of intensity, depending on the perceived dangerousness of the situation. That noxious feeling of being stressed is trying to give us a priority notification, to make sure that certain signals (which represent an important message) grab our full attention. Refusing to heed the signals of stress, or simply shutting them off or ignoring them, is not an appropriate response.

The best use we can make of stress messages is twofold:

  1. Use its intensity and the timing of its occurrence to become aware and acknowledge that a psychological or physical threat exists, and gauge its significance. For example, an immediate physical danger will elicit a more immediate and dramatic body reaction than a psychological threat that may occur in the future.
  2. Identify and address the cause of the stress reaction (which is usually accompanied by more or less severe anxiety) and focus our attention on it, with the aim of confronting, reducing or eliminating the stressor. For example, in a relationship that isn’t quite working the way it should the stress signal is the anxiety and worry over it, the stressor is that painful aspect of the relationship that needs to be confronted, reduced or eliminated.

In short, stress is the message, the stressor is its cause. It is much more productive to focus our efforts on the stressor, rather than just unscrew and throw out the red light bulb.

3 Good Ways of Responding To a Panic Attack

OBriensTower_EN-US194301618A panic attack ambushes the mind, the body, and the soul. Its targets are self-esteem, a balanced self-assessment and the ability to analyze situations and expected outcomes. When panic strikes, the present becomes a bleak landscape of dangers and the future includes a (seemingly) real possibility of annihilation. In the presence of a real (or perceived) significant stressor, one’s abilities to respond to the challenging situation becomes severely impaired. For the span of the panic attack, chest pains, shortness of breath, shaking, sweating, and even nausea and vomiting can give the sensations of impeding death. Can something be done to prepare for a panic attack with any degree of success?

One: Know Thyself

A first important tool is the ability to anticipate one’s own reactions, by getting to know them well enough so that they do not become stressors in themselves. Knowing the likelihood (and thus anticipating the possibility) of the physical sensations that go with feelings of panic (chest constriction, shortness of breath, increased heart rate, and sweating) may help avoid the distress that these symptoms can cause. The very fact of knowing that these physiological reactions will take place, and allowing them to happen as a natural and understandable reaction to a threat to our well-being, can be beneficial.

Two: Know About Panic

Panic attacks are about as close to feeling imminent death as one can get, as anyone who has experienced them in all their severity will attest. A panic attack occurs without anyone else’s intervention (usually no one else is present). It can be extremely frightening even when no real physical danger exists (it can strike a person comfortably seated in his or her favorite recliner). A panic attack, by definition, occurs without any clinical danger of death and cannot by itself cause death or serious injury. A the most, when it reaches a certain level, a panic attack may trigger a loss of consciousness through hyperventilation (prolonged shallow breathing). This usually resolves the physical symptoms by momentarily taking the brain out of the picture, whereby the body can returns to homeostasis. When the person comes to, usually the panic attack is gone just as suddenly as it came. Exhaustion is not infrequent at this stage, as a panic attack can be a real workout for the heart and muscles.

Three: Manage Your Response

BearAttackA useful tool in preventing the recurrence of panic attack is stress management. Allowing the body to react, in concert with the mind, to a situation that may objectively warrant fear, sadness or worry is not only strategically sound, it is also physiologically healthier. Just as courage is not the absence of fear but simply good fear management, allowing a naturally-occurring biopsychic reaction to a stressor is simply good stress management.

Thus, the key to successful panic attack management is not in denying or attempting to prevent the stress reaction, but in what to do next (our chosen response). After the initial physical reaction ebbs and subsides and the heart rate naturally returns to near-normal levels, the real stress management response has a chance to begin. This response should first and foremost consist of addressing the stressor that is causing the panic attack to occur.

3 Good Ways of Addressing Serious Stressors

Three options usually exists in addressing significant stressors:

  1. Eliminating the stressor that caused the panic attack to occur.
  2. Removing oneself from the stressful situation, if option 1 is not available.
  3. Reducing the impact of the stressor through relaxation techniques or good coping mechanisms, when options 1 and 2 are not available.

Angry? Aggressive? All You Need Is a Prayer

Pisa%20-%20Piazza%20dei%20Miracoli%20-%202Pray for Those Who Mistreat You: Effects of Prayer on Anger and Aggression is the descriptive title of a study published a few days ago in the peer-reviewed journal, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. According to its authors, Dr. Ryan H. Bremner of the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, Michigan, Dr. Sander L. Koole of VU University, Amsterdam, The Netherlands, and Dr. Brad J. Bushman of Ohio State University at Columbus, prayer has a surprisingly strong and near instantaneous effect in reducing anger and aggression.

The study consisted of three experiments, which tested the hypothesis that the act of intentionally praying for others can significantly reduce anger and aggression after a provocation. In the first experiment, provoked participants who prayed for a stranger reported feeling their anger subside, whereas other participants who just focused their thoughts on a stranger did not report any lessening of their anger.

People often turn to prayer when they’re feeling negative emotions, including anger. We found that prayer really can help people cope with their anger, probably by helping them change how they view the events that angered them and helping them take it less personally.—Brad Bushman, Ohio State University.

In the second experiment, provoked participants who prayed for the individual who had angered them were less aggressive toward that person than were participants who just thought about the person who had angered them. In the third experiment, provoked participants who prayed for a friend in need reported acting less aggressively and feeling less anger than did people who simply thought about a friend in need.

These results are consistent with recent evolutionary theories, which suggest that religious practices can promote cooperation among unrelated people or in situations in which reciprocity would be highly unlikely. Also consistent with these findings are those previously published on Stresshacker about the connection between faith and stress, and that between longevity and spirituality.

Eat Your Way Out of Stress: Orthomolecularity

NabobPass_EN-US212192238The food most of us consume today is not as rich in nutritional value as it once was due to the significant industrial processing it must undergo to be preserved, packaged and shipped and to the significant effects of pollution in the air, water and soil. Therefore, the human body, especially in heavily industrialized societies, ends up receiving far fewer of the vitamins and minerals that are necessary for optimal health. Moreover, additional energy expenditures and therefore caloric consumption are often required to cope with the stress caused by environmental, situational, and psychological agents.

Thus, the use of nutritional supplements, especially vitamins and herbal extracts, has blossomed into a significant industry and constitutes an increasingly large share of how we obtain these essential nutrients. Generic symptoms such as fatigue, headache, and mood changes are now being treated not only with prescribed or over the counter chemical preparations but also through the consumption of mostly unregulated food supplements.

The Good

As far back as 1968, two-time Nobel Prize winner Linus Pauling pioneered scientific research on the beneficial effects of vitamin supplements and coined the term orthomolecular to describe a nutrition-focused therapy that included large doses of food supplements. His research built on the previous work of two Canadian psychiatrists, Abram Hoffer and Humphrey Osmond, who in 1952 had begun to use very large doses of vitamins, in particular those of the B group, for the treatment of psychiatric disorders. Pauling went one step further by attempting to demonstrate the effectiveness of taking very large doses of vitamins in prevention and in therapy. His studies focused on the antiradical effects of ascorbic acid (vitamin C) and of the liposoluble vitamins A and E in the stimulation of the immune system. Pauling’s view of the benefits of orthomolecularity launched the modern production and distribution of vitamins, minerals, herbs, or products made from plants, animal parts, algae, seafood, or yeasts.

The Bad and the Ugly

Lately, attention is also being paid to the increasingly worrisome phenomenon of self-medication with unregulated nutritional supplements, such as caffeine-laden energy drinks. A 16-ounce can of an energy drink may contain 13 teaspoons of sugar and the amount of caffeine found in four or more colas. Moreover, this potent mixture of sugars and stimulants is often mixed with alcohol. These products, whose catchy names are Red Bull, Rockstar, Monster and Full Throttle, are increasingly popular among teenagers and young adults, even as young as 10-12 years of age. Unfortunately, these concoctions of uppers and downers have dangerous, even life-threatening, effects on blood pressure, heart rate and brain function, according to a recently released report by the Mayo Clinic’s Foundation for Medical Education and Research.

Hear and Feel Your Stress Drift Away

aavanGogh_1888_ArlesDanceHallCan music reduce stress? Yes, and the evidence is strong. Music can reduce stress, lessen pain, diminish hostility and have a positive effect on emotions and cognition. Beginning with an experimental study by Hatta and Nakamura (1991), researchers have continued to investigate the effects of relaxing music on psychological stress, finding good evidence of its benefits. Rhythmic music may change brain function and treat a range of neurological conditions, including attention deficit disorder and depression, suggested scientists who in 2006 gathered with ethnomusicologists and musicians at Stanford’s Center for Computer Research in Music and Acoustics. The diverse group came together for the symposium, “Brainwave Entrainment to External Rhythmic Stimuli: Interdisciplinary Research and Clinical Perspectives.”

Music with a strong beat stimulates the brain and ultimately causes brainwaves to resonate in time with the rhythm, research has shown. Slow beats encourage the slow brainwaves that are associated with hypnotic or meditative states. Faster beats may encourage more alert and concentrated thinking… Most music combines many different frequencies that cause a complex set of reactions in the brain, but researchers say specific pieces of music could enhance concentration or promote relaxation… Studies of rhythms and the brain have shown that a combination of rhythmic light and sound stimulation has the greatest effect on brainwave frequency, although sound alone can change brain activity. This helps explain the significance of rhythmic sound in religious ceremonies. – Stanford University News Services, 2006

Music therapy is now considered a useful adjunct in the treatment of many illnesses including cancer, stroke, heart disease, headaches, and digestive problems. There are numerous reports that music played before, during or after surgery reduces anxiety, lessens pain, reduces the need for pain medication and reduces recovery time.

In 2010, Wesa, Cassileth & Victorson published evidence in Focus on Alternative and Complementary Therapies Journal that music dramatically decreases distress for women hospitalized in a high-risk obstetrics/gynecology setting.  In 2009, a group of scientists headed by Thaut & Gardiner confirmed that music therapy can improve executive brain functions and contributes to better emotional adjustment in traumatic brain injury rehabilitation. Their study examined the immediate effects of neurologic music therapy (NMT) on cognitive functioning and emotional adjustment with brain-injured persons and a control group. The patients who received the music treatment showed a statistically significant improvement in executive function and overall emotional adjustment, reduced depression, lessened sensation seeking, and lower anxiety. Control participants, who did not receive the music treatment, showed decreases in memory, less positive emotion, and higher anxiety.

An extensive study by Good, Anderson, et al. (2005) tested three non-pharmacological treatments—one of which was music therapy—for pain relief following intestinal surgery in a randomized clinical trial. The 167 patients were randomly assigned to one of three intervention groups or control. The results showed significantly less pain in the intervention groups than in the control group, resulting in 16-40% less pain.

Finally, a just published German study offers case-study evidence that music therapy has positive effects on basic vital signs, the reduction of pain and on neurological development in newborn babies with health problems. At the other end of life’s spectrum, a very recent study of patients suffering from dementia of the Alzheimer’s type who exhibited disruptive behaviors showed that weekly session of live music therapy- and occupational therapy-based structured activities over 8 weeks resulted in a significant improvement in disruptive behaviors and depressive symptoms.

Sigmund Freud: What a Funny Guy!

freud-of-the-pampas_357025Sigmund Freud lived and worked in the Austrian capital, Vienna until the Nazi Anschluss of 1938 placed him and his family in great peril. Freud was allowed to leave Austria with his family through the intercession of his patients Princess Marie Bonaparte and William Bullitt, and diplomatic pressure by the United States. One condition imposed by the Germans for his safe conduit was that Freud state that he had been treated with due respect. In response, Freud is reported to have declared, ‘‘I can heartily recommend the Gestapo to anyone.”

Freud viewed humor as an outlet for discharging psychic energy and reducing the emotional impact of negative events. He regarded humor as one of the most adaptive defense mechanisms.

The essence of humor is that one spares oneself the affects to which the situation would naturally give rise and overrides with a jest the possibility of such an emotional display. Freud, S. (1916)

In his groundbreaking study of humor, Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious, Freud hypothesized that jokes and dreams serve to satisfy our unconscious desires. Jokes provide their unique pleasure by allowing a temporary release of inhibitions and permitting the safe expression of sexual, aggressive, playful, or cynical instincts that would otherwise remain hidden and inexpressible. Laughter is the release of defensive tension that has been aroused by the circumstances that precede it. Tension can be elicited by behaviors, feelings or thoughts associated with anger and sexuality—in situations where their expression would be inappropriate. When ego defenses that inhibit their expression become unnecessary, as when the joke’s punch line is revealed, the energy that would be normally suppressed can be released in laughter.

There are two ways in which the process at work in humor may take place. Either one person may himself adopt a humorous attitude, while a second person acts as spectator, and derives enjoyment from the attitude of the first; or there may be two people concerned, one of whom does not himself take any active share in producing the humorous effect, but is regarded by the other in a humorous light. To take a very crude example: when the criminal who is being led to the gallows on a Monday observes, ‘Well, this is a good beginning to the week’, he himself is creating the humor; the process works itself out in relation to himself and evidently it affords him a certain satisfaction. Freud, S. (1928)

Freud also wrote “Humor” (1928), a brief paper in which humor is distinguished from wit and comicality, whereby humor represents an internalized form of forgiveness that changes one’s perspective and provides some relief from emotions associated with disappointments and failures. Likewise, humor permits the reinterpretation of failures as being of lesser importance or seriousness than initially believed, thereby transforming such failures, said Freud, into “mere child’s play.”

Why Hardiness Is Faster Than Competitiveness

aaBruegel_HuntersSnowDo you know someone who deals with stress by working harder and faster to produce more in a shorter time? These so-called type A personalities appear to have a stronger than average sense of urgency, can be more highly competitive, and may be frequently and more easily angered when things don’t go their way. Stress reduction and stress management is perhaps one of their most urgent needs, yet these individuals are perhaps the least likely to take the time to learn effective self-management techniques.

Unfortunately, as discussed in our recent post on the impact of stress on the heart, type A personalities suffer from a significantly higher rate of cardiovascular disease than type B personalities. The former may be more successful at getting things done faster. Type B’s may be slower and somewhat less effective, but they can play and relax without guilt, are much less hostile and unlikely to exhibit excessive competitiveness.

Hardiness Matters More Than Speed

The evidence for the difference in health outcomes between type A and type B originally came from groundbreaking research by S. C. Kobasa of the University of Chicago. Dr. Kobasa looked at personality as a conditioner of the effects of stressful life events on illness by studying two groups of middle- and upper-level 40- to 49-year-old executives. One group of 86 individuals suffered high stress without falling ill, whereas the other group of 75 individuals became sick after experiencing stressful life events.

The results of the study showed that, unlike the high stress/high illness executives, the type B group was characterized by more hardiness, a stronger commitment to self-care, an attitude of vigorousness toward the environment, a sense of meaningfulness, and an internal locus of control. These “slower-paced” individuals appear to view stressors as challenges and chances for new opportunities and personal growth rather than as threats. They report feeling in control of their life circumstances and perceive that they have the resources to make choices and influence events around them. They also have a sense of commitment to their homes, families, and work that makes it easier for them to be involved with other people and in other activities.

SH_Rcmds_smAccording to Herbert Benson and Eileen Steward, authors of Wellness Book: The Comprehensive Guide to Maintaining Health and Treating Stress-Related Illness, the incidence of illness is much lower in individuals who have these stress-hardy characteristics and who also have a good social support system, exercise regularly, and maintain a healthy diet.

[amtap book:isbn=0671797506]

This is a stress management book well worth reading, because it specifically targets hardiness and better stress management with type A personalities in mind. It is the Stresshacker Recommended selection for this month.

Christmas Stress Survival Kit

aaMantegna_1500_AdorazioneMagiThe holiday season is upon us — the cash tills are ringing — the car parks are chocka — the shops are heaving — and stress levels are rising. For all the perfectionists out there this time of year can be a real nightmare as The Need To Do Things Perfectly swings into overdrive.  Advertising induces huge pressure to roll out the perfect Christmas:  perfect gifts — perfect parties — how to cook the perfect turkey …   and so on. We put impossibly high expectations on ourselves and end up being unable to enjoy the celebrations.

So here are a few ideas to help ease the stress and allow you some space to enjoy the festive season.

► DELEGATE/ASK FOR HELP: If the majority of the work falls on your shoulders please don’t suffer alone.  If you do you’ll have an exhausting Christmas and probably end up feeling resentful.  Ask for help from those around you — partner, children, family, friends.  Preparing food or writing cards together feels very festive and will significantly ease the burden on you.

► BEWARE “SHOULDS”: Christmas is full of ‘shoulds’.  Be aware of the number of times you use this word.  It usually implies that you’re about to embark on something you don’t really want to do — but feel you ought to.  In other words, the impetus is stemming from external expectations.  The antidote is simply to supplant the word should with could. This instantly reintroduces the element of choice.  You DON’T have to brave the crowds to buy just one more gift … you could, but you might choose not to…

► TEMPER EXPECTATIONS … of others and, more importantly, of yourself.  Don’t sweat the small stuff. Please let go of the need to be perfect. If the turkey is a bit overcooked, or the Christmas tree lights go on the blink, or someone isn’t overjoyed with the gift you’ve bought them – how important is that in the great scheme of things?

► And finally … don’t forget to get out and do some exercise over the Christmas period.  We all eat and drink more than usual, so getting out for a walk and some fresh air always feels great and does you good.

Wishing you a happy, festive and stress-free Holiday Season.

fac_sutton_annabelThis guest post is courtesy of Annabel Sutton, a fully trained Life Coach and Author. In 2005 she was awarded the Professional Certified Coach credential. Her clients say that she inspires, energizes and motivates them towards success and she gets wonderful results. Email or visit for more information or to sign up for Annabel’s free Coaching Tips.

Faith And Stress: The Connection

My view is that "bad" stress is handled through scripture, prayer, and faith. That is not naïve but a way to perceive the circumstances of life which would invade our peace and joy. –Doyle Kee

Hurricane at The belief in the existence of a supernatural being who has
a plan for each human being, and the opportunity to connect with others who share the same belief, can be powerful relievers of the stress of life. The psychological appeal of faith is beyond dispute: there are over 100,000 registered religions in the United States alone, and membership is constantly on the rise. An even greater number of people accept a form of personal spirituality which includes the belief in a higher being, without subscribing to any one specific movement.

Religious belief and affiliation appear to rise significantly in times of severe stress. Some of history’s most prominent, and some of the most unusual and charismatic, religious movements have arisen in times of great political, economic and societal turmoil. In times of war, widespread famine, poverty and natural disasters, and impending death and illness nearly all religious groups have seen and continue to see their appeal grow.

Sigmund Freud, in his book on The Future of an Illusion admitted, without accepting it, that faith in God could reduce psychological stress. Carl Marx famously stated, “religion is the opiate of the masses” in the introduction of his book Contribution to Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right. And we can certainly consider the meaning attached to faith by the 9/11 suicide bombers who went to their death (and took many with them) as a testament to the power of their religious fervor.

The Connection Between Faith and Stress

Research has shown that faith in a supernatural being, with all its corollaries and attributes, appears to be particularly effective in relieving certain specific psychological stressors. Here are the most important ones:

  • Psychological and physical escape from stress: religious organizations offer physical as well as spiritual shelters where food, clothing, and healthcare are available, along with social support, structure, and spiritual guidance.
  • Consolation, devaluation of and disassociation from the illusory trappings of the material world, and the ephemeral appeal of beauty, money, success.
  • Appealing models of resilience and positive outcomes in the face of life-threatening stressors.
  • Cognitive and dialectical techniques that are useful in coping with stressors, such as individual prayers, group rituals and collective petitions. Nearly all religious movements provide ways of giving voice to individual and collective distress, including the fast-growing Internet-based churches.
  • Explaining the inexplicable: in a world that seems ruled by chaos and administered by randomness, faith in a superiorly organized universe is an appealing provider of stability. By prayer, penance, code, dietary laws, rituals, or positive thinking, faith-based movements promote a sense of personal control.
  • A meaning to life and to life’s end. Faith can promote a hopeful and optimistic outlook with its emphasis on a more peaceful (and stress-free) existence and its promise of life after death.
  • A refuge from aloneness and abandonment. The profoundly comforting sense of belonging to a community of mutual love and support, and the incomparable feeling of being loved unconditionally by someone who epitomizes love and trust are perhaps the most appealing attributes of faith.

As an intensely personal experience, faith remains beyond the investigation by scientific means. In psychological terms, faith can positively influence us in cognitive and emotional terms, in the way we come to perceive ourselves, our world, and our future. When embraced sincerely and whole-heartedly, it can become an important protective factor against the effects of stress in our lives.