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Top 11 reasons to love yourself

Theo Pallake at Stresshacker.com

You must love yourself because…

1…you’re the only one you’ve got

You were born, you grew up, you became an adult…and there you are…you!  There’s no escaping the reality of it.  You are the only one in the world who is… you. Your uniqueness, your particular blend of talents, skills, shortcomings, idiosyncrasies, background, and experience is unmatched by anyone else on the planet. Doing something positive with this unique treasure of a life begins by accepting that you are the only one you are and will ever be.

2… it is a prerequisite to loving anyone else

If you are a Christian, and even if you’re not, you may have heard that Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”  The key word in that sentence is the shortest word, the word “as.”  It means that unless you know how to love yourself, and are capable of loving yourself, you won’t know how to love anyone else, nor will you be able to.

3… it makes you happier

If you’ve ever wondered how some people just seem to be much happier than others with the way life is, and how they seem to manage their problems and adversities so much better, others have wondered the same thing. This has prompted a significant amount of research on happiness and on what makes it happen, what maintains it, and what it takes to have it.  While there are many factors that contribute to happiness, there is one characteristic of happy people that seems to be there across cultures, times and personalities: happy people do not hate themselves. Instead, they are rather fond of who and how they are, and many actually have a healthy love of self that doesn’t make them arrogant or conceited.

4… it adds to your lifespan

Happy, well-adjusted people seem to prefer lifestyles that add to their longevity rather than detract from it.  Perhaps one important explanation is that they cherish their lives, truly enjoy being with themselves, and are able to form lasting and secure bonds with others.  These are all protective factors that may help explain their longer lifespan.

5… it ensures better physical health

Loving yourself means first doing no harm. To the person who respects the fragility of the body, the need to ensure its optimal functioning, and the precious and irreplaceable gift of good health, harming the self is not even an option. This is why love of self generally leads to good decision-making skills on matters of alcohol and drug use, nutrition, exercise, medication, and risky behaviors. Love of self is also an extremely important component in avoiding major depression, in reducing the impact of stress, and in ensuring better mental health.

6… it agrees with those who love you

Sadly, many people who don’t care very much for themselves often argue with those who care about them. It is not unusual to see people suffering because a loved one insists on maintaining a harmful lifestyle, bad habits, and unhealthy behaviors. To accept someone else’s love, to accept that you are lovable enough for someone else to love you is the greatest joy for those who love you…and for you, too!

7… it helps you get over pain and hurt more quickly

A healthy attitude toward your life’s inevitable challenges comes from a good degree of self-confidence, which helps muster your available resources when the time comes.  Knowing that you can handle a crisis because you believe yourself to be strong, capable and good enough to manage it is the key to reducing the impact of the momentary hurts and pains of life.

8… you can’t be anyone else

Much effort and sorrow may go into trying to be someone you’re not. This effort produces very limited results at best, and at worst it can lead to tragicomic choices.  The reason?  It doesn’t fool anyone into believing that you are actually someone else.  Ultimately, everyone still knows that it is just you, trying to be someone you’re not. And how could it be otherwise?  Think about how much more credible and acceptable to everyone is to be just who you are.

9… it is easier than hating yourself

Hate takes a lot of work. I’ve heard it compared to a cancer that eats away at you from the inside. It is probably something very much like that, at the mental and often even at the physical level. Being unable to forgive yourself for your mistakes, being unable to accept your shortcomings, hating your looks, despising your personality…all this takes an enormous amount of emotional and intellectual energy that could be used towards more productive and enjoyable aims.

10… it makes you look better

When unhappy people are portrayed in movies, plays and novels they invariably are made to look unattractive either in obvious or more subtle ways.  Scriptwriters and authors put something in their demeanor, in their eyes, in their voice, in their mannerisms to indicate that we are seeing someone who is in pain. Self-loathing is visible to others: facial muscles are tense, actions are often contrived or insincere, and stress barely lives under the surface.  Contrast this image with that of someone who has a healthy love of self, and you will see someone who is comfortable with just being and who conveys this sense of comfort to everyone else.

11… it makes you more lovable by others

Who doesn’t love being with someone who can laugh, who can cry, who can be genuinely present?  And who doesn’t dread being with someone who’s always gloomy, depressed, unhappy, or self-critical?  The choice is yours to be one or the other.  Certainly, we all know that positiveness begets positiveness, love begets love, and happiness is truly contagious. Won’t you be that person who is so easy to love because you obviously know how to love yourself?